The Quiet Middle
Pay close attention to the quiet people, the people that may not speak up or speak out on gender equality. This group of people may be your single most important asset in your quest to achieve gender balance at the organizational level. Know who they are and start to identify what they care about.
We know the advocates and the resistors. They are hard to miss. These people can be both direct and/or subtle in their approach of voicing their thoughts and opinions. We know where they stand, we know what they believe, and we know what they want. But what about the people that don’t speak up? Do we know where they stand? Do we know what they believe? Are we making assumptions about them? Do we know if they even care about gender balance?
Let’s be real here, not everyone wants to “march”, not everyone wants to create “ripples of change”, and realistically not everyone even knows what achieving gender balance can mean for themselves as individuals. And despite the #metoo and #timesup movements, sexual harassment and fear of repercussion or ostracization continue to be a legitimate silencer. In fact, the reality is that the majority of workers within corporate America (both men and women) don’t have these kinds of conversations at all. And, if they do, these conversations take place outside of the office amongst friends and not in the mix of co-workers.
When it comes to gender equality, the code of silence continues to remain the safe bet. Yes, even in 2019, where the topic of gender equality has become a mainstream conversation amongst leading modern companies, workplace culture can still send the subtle message that quiet is best when it comes to more sensitive or divisive topics. (*On the flip side, if you write/speak/work in the area of gender balance then you fall into the opposite category where it seems like everyone is talking about this topic because of those pesky machine learning algorithms).
For most of my own career, I’ve fallen quite cleanly into this “quiet middle” category when it comes to expressing thoughts or opinions on the topic of gender equality at work. As a Gen X’er who remembers the feminism of the seventies and eighties … and the “angry feminist” terminology that was often associated with these movements … I simply didn’t want to risk being judged or misunderstood or perceived as angry. I am a glass-half-full kind of person, positive to the core, and a believer that any lack of achievement would lie wholly on me. In fact, I never really “saw” gender inequity during most of my younger career. Yes, I saw lack of women in my industries. Yes, I was often the only woman or one of a few represented in meetings. And, yes, I experienced a different pay grade than the men on my team performing the exact same job. But, all in, people were basically nice, my roles were pretty good, and I still didn’t really SEE the inequities.
But then, in late 2017, my optometrist told me I needed glasses. Ok, optically unrelated but completely indicative of the things happening around me — things in our national media (i.e. politics and high profile social movements), the spotlight on the motherhood penalty & the fatherhood bonus at work, circumstances at home, my daughters growing older, etc. Clarity came crashing in around me and I moved from being one in “the quiet middle” into one that enthusiastically advocates for change.
Clarity came crashing in around me and I moved from being one in “the quiet middle” into one that enthusiastically advocates for change.
The quiet middle group are people that maybe haven’t thought so much about gender balance, perhaps feel they have been unaffected by gender inequity, or haven’t understood what to look for. Or, they are desperately trying to stay below the radar, not wanting to rock the boat or tempt repercussion. In general though, they have a bit of ambivalence about it. They do see how there might be value to gender balance but there are still parts to the story that make them feel a little uncomfortable. As a man, “is my job safe if I start to advocate for more women on my team”? As a woman, “will people think I got this job just because of my gender, not for my talent”? … to name just two examples of so many.
For employers, drawing in the quiet middle and helping to educate them on what gender balance can do for them personally can be critical and powerful for driving organizational change. The positive impact a gender balanced organization can have upon both the individual (male & female) as well as the organization as a whole is a great place to start the dialogue. Change will always generate some type of resistance because it is part of our human DNA but do you know what is also in our human DNA? The hope for a better future.
So, engage with the quiet middle in a way that works for them. Learn from each other as best you can, they might just hold the key to unlocking the barriers to change within your organization.
Here are some good articles that support this topic:
Breaking the workplace Code of Silence
Men: Have you Really Stopped to Think About Gender Equality?
